Discipline Your Children

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What I’ve found in my tenure as a mama, is that at the beginning I would many times be concerned about the way I was seen, when it comes to discipline. Nowadays I could care less about how I am seen by people. I seek more to do a job well done, because my children deserve that.

Disciplining Sounds Like Love

There is a time to be sweet and a time to bring down the law! I have learned that it is not all about disciplining the way that I remember discipline to be. Discipline doesn’t have to be a dirty word and that while I’m disciplining tough it can still sound like love. I can question my children in a way to make them think about what they are doing and how it affects the world, rather than telling them not to or to do X,Y, and Z. There has been great power in letting my little ones think about what they are doing. I question them and help them to talk through how they think they could have said something differently or used their own words.

What Love Is

I recently reread ICorinthians 13:4-8 and was so convicted when I came to the part when it reads “it does not easily anger”. I had found myself in a place where I was constantly annoyed irritated and frustrated all at the same time, ALL THE TIME. I had to remember to take moments, breathe, and use some of the self-talk I have been trying to help my children to use. I realized that if they don’t see me change they never will. That my love had to shine through and that when I struggled with being kind I could share that with them. If I can show them from where I used to be to where I am going, then they will be willing to listen to me in their own struggles on anger humility, and anything else.

Show Love Through Discipline

During moments when hard discipline is necessary I explain to my children that sometimes they need to understand that being tough can be loving. I explain to them that I love them and that if I don’t allow them to understand that they must follow the rules then they will not grow up to be good contributors to society. I kiss them and hug them and let them know that I love them. I follow through with the learning moment, and do what I say. If I choose to show them mercy it is for their positive behavior toward the learning moment and not because they whine. I also explain to them why their sentence has been lifted early.

Allowing Them to Have a Say

There are moments when I have disciplined them and I allow them to have a say. I allow them to tell me that the way that I have disciplined them is fair or unfair and we discuss it. I of course win because I’m the mama, but I have been surprised some times because they had the opportunity to explain to me where they were coming from, why they did what they did, and what was going on in their head. There have been times that what I had thought was not in fact the case and they were shown fairness. The miscommunication was something that I was happy that I had taken the time to evaluate.

Discipline is not a dirty word and needs to be handled with care and as your children grow it will become a little more challenging, but if communication stays open and your child feels that you are seeking to be fair and loving even when you make a mistake it will be ok, you can use that as a learning experience and move on to the next learning experience which more than likely won’t be the same exact scenario!

Hope you have found something useful! Please comment and let me know any struggles you have had with your discipline and how you have overcome it, or how you have chosen to work through it.

Meals Organized

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Girl and mother cooking in the kitchen

How, in the world, am I supposed to get this all done? I am a mother, wife, and homeschooler. I want it all but I seem to be half stepping in every area. Everyday I feel like all I think about is organizing meals. I just can’t take it! I’m trying to keep it together. I am just now starting to get a groove for our schedule and have begun to organize our meals in a different way.

I love it when I feel like I am developing a good habit. Trying to keep the children together, involved, and learning with out it feeling too overwhelmed, is important to me. I have recognized that if I tell my children something, they MAKE me keep my word. I have begun to implement weekly meal schedules. Figuring out what works best for our family can be a challenge, but it is beginning to finally work. Once a week, one of my children and I head out to the grocery store to pick up our groceries for the week. We make a list of the ingredients for the meals and stick to it. 

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How I’m Doing It

Instead of buying just a bunch of items, I actually figure out what it is I will cook for the week, and purchase according to those recipes. This has proven to eliminated several trips to the grocery store during the week.

I’ve also gotten my children involved which has been pretty exciting. They are learning what to look for on the labels and learning the value of a dollar. Involving them in this process has proven to be a positive journey to our organization battle for our meals and everything else!

Cooking several meals one day as early as possible has proven to be the best and easiest tactic for my family. If I can wake before everyone else does I am more than able to finish 3 to 4 meals in about an hour and a half. The key is not trying to be the best chef but make simple meals that you know your family will enjoy.

Hope this has been helpful to you. We are learning as we go and hopefully we can learn from each other to make our lives more simple.

You think you got it all figured out

So I read books on pregnancy and then there were a few about labor and delivery. I read a few of those too. Then I had the baby and the beautiful truth of what it was to carry a baby and deliver naturally even though medicated, became more real than anything else. I had my first child nine years ago and when I think about the process that I went through to have him I am always amazed! It is amazing!

Because of several things I had to have intervention epidural with my first birth and after that was able to experience complete natural un-medicated births. Those were not only beautiful but empowering and awesome is the best word I can use but after delivery then what?

I am five weeks post my fourth child and I still don’t have it all figured out. I am a more seasoned mother. I look for my direction from the Bible and seek help in prayer, but after all the posts and magazines and everything that I have read and done one thing that I can shout out from the rooftops is that I will NEVER have it all figured out. Every child is different, has needs separate from the others and well comes with a whole new set of challenges. I am in all my experience learning as Solomon ( man from the Bible)  began to learn, that the more I know the more I realize that I know nothing at all.

I have figured out that I cannot do this alone, that I need other mothers and fathers and family and many friends to do this life with. That I need to be actively involved in my children’s life and interested in what they like and show them that I care. I have figured out that I have to turn off the chatter (technology OFF) and really talk to them and show them how special they are to me. I don’t have to tell them how great something is if it isn’t but I could guide them into their own greatness.

Nobody has it all figured out so when I am questioned about something that I am doing with my children and challenged as to if it is the right thing for me, I do my best to check my defensive response and listen to what the person has to say, especially if I know they love me. I mean who likes to be told that what they are doing is wrong, but with defenses down you will be able to evaluate your intentions a lot better. If the decision is to proceed as you were anyways then your confidence on the decision will and should be strengthened. If advice is followed then make sure that it is not purely out of fear that you decide not to proceed but because of wise counsel.

The most important thing that I have learned is that I don’t have it all figured out I never will and that’s OK since I am humbly following after the only one who has it figured it out. Christ walked this earth and defeated all for me. I am just trying to live simply in this complicated world.